Thursday, February 24, 2011

Pity Party..Table for One

Since that ORDINARY DAY it seems like many un- oridinary things have transpired. The Bible calls them 'trials and tribulations'. They are to be expected and anticipated in life. But during this time it felt like things kept happening in succession, like waves crashing on the shore and I was in the waves feeling like just when I'd get to my feet and begin to recover, another wave would hit me, slamming me down again. Anxiety began to build in me..leading me on to panic attacks. I felt like I was 'failing' somehow, like I wasn't a good Christian because I was succumbing to the anxiety. I retreated and isolated and dove head first into my Pity Pool. The funny thing about a Pity Pool is it is really comfortable when you first enter it..soothing, almost. It's warm with a jelly like consistency that makes you buoyant so you can just float there for hours. But then time came when I became just sick of myself, sick of feeling sorry for myself and I wanted out of my Pity Pool...only it takes a lot of effort to work yourself from the middle of the pool to the side steps. God was there,("I will never leave you or forsake you.") guiding me and helping me to the steps. And when I finally reached the steps and walked out of the pool, some pity still clung to me. Blessedly God provided Showers of Mercy and Grace to wash the residue of pity off of me.                                                                                                Some of the trials have not ended, but God has given me perspective and it is a day to day walk of trusting God.  During this time I was able to visit my dear friend, Judy, who always has words of wisdom and encouragement for me. She explained that anxiety can  be a normal reaction to life and the world we live in...that it doesn't make me a lesser Christian. To really bring it home for me, God used another friend last night, who was telling me on the phone of her physical ailments that have occurred in her body, that were stress related, causing her to be bed-ridden. She's an  awesome Christian and highly respected and it never entered my mind that I would think she were a lesser Christian because of her ailments. God showed me that my reaction to stress with anxiety and her reaction to stress with physical problems are the same. I guess the test comes with what we DO with it all. In my friend's case she said "I think the Lord wants me to slow down and rest." In my case, I think the Lord is building my faith and increasing my compassion for people who fight the battle of anxiety every day. I am thankful that God finally bestowed on me the peace that passes understanding and that it rules in my heart (Phil. 4:7)

Psalm 18:16-19 (The Message)

 But me He caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; He pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
... the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but GOD stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!


  1. Your words are so inspirational! I believe that we go through trials and tribulations in order to perhaps develop compassion, grow in our faith and to rely on our God, who will never leave us or forsake us as you reminded me. Thank you so much for sharing this. My mother has been going through a hard time. I would like to share this post with her to lift her up. I know it has inspired me. May God bless you!

  2. Going through trials and tribulations, although we know the Lord is with us, is still difficult. I pray you will know God's presence in whatever you are facing right now. and girlfriend to girlfriend...Hang in there!!

  3. Oh Myrna, your words have been very inspirational to me also, as I too have been struggling with stress and anxiety... for me it's go go go all the time, my business seems to take a LOT of my time, so my time with God, family, and home have been getting somewhat neglected, it's so hard to keep everything in balance... and I stay so stressed all the time, I was in bed for several days about a month ago due to stress and anxiety too. I could go on and on but I won't, I will say I think in my case God is wanting me to slow down a bit and focus on what is really important! Glad you are feeling better.
    Blessings and Big Hugs~~~ Daphne

  4. Hi Friend,
    I can relate to what you've shared on this blog entry. I am 52 yrs old and was diagnosed with MS last week. Not what I wanted to hear. That day I picked up a devotional book and read this scripture, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze". Isaiah 43:2

    Yes, the word says not to be surprised that we have trials. He'll walk through the fire with us. God is faithful and I'm trusting Him to see me through and I know he'll do the same for you.

    Be blessed and not stressed! At least try!

  5. A friend posted this on her facebook page just recently:

    'Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long.'

    You have written from the heart. I'm giving your hand a mental squeeze. xx

  6. Myrna,

    Your words are so inspiring. I have had many days like this too. You feel like you are going one step forward, and two steps back. Glad you were able to get some comfort from your friend.
    Sending you a big hug!


  7. So glad you have your friends and your faith in God to get you through. As others like myself, God, family and friends have helped us through.

    take care and God bless.

  8. Glad your party is over! I've missed seeing you on here. Hugs.....Toni